The 14 Words

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Study: More Photographs Of Bigfoot Than Of Hamas Fighters

Washington, August 4 – Enthusiasts who follow the search for creatures such as Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster are considering adding Hamas fighters to their list of creatures to find, since there appears to be no evidence in media reports from the Gaza Strip that such beings in fact exist.

Cryptozoologists – whose field of endeavor involves finding creatures rumored to exist but of which no convincing evidence has surfaced – noticed over the last several weeks that Western photographers were transmitting hundreds of photos of wounded women and children, but not a single image of the hundreds, if not more than a thousand, casualties from among the Hamas and Islamic Jihad fighters. The lack of such photographs emanating from the fighting in Gaza has made those devotees consider expanding their effort to include proving the existence of such entities.
“This could be a way to scoop the mainstream media,” says Bebe See, who has spent fifteen years pursuing the Himalayan Yeti, also known as the Abominable Snowman. 
“They’re constantly focused on toeing the company line and not taking any journalistic risks, so of course they’re ignoring this story, which doesn’t fit the mainstream corporate narrative.” He suspects it would take maybe two weeks on the ground in Gaza to obtain irrefutable photographic evidence that Hamas fighters exist.
“There are indications beyond the mere photographic,” agreed Bigfoot enthusiast Emma Sensbisi. 
“Statistically, the ages and sexes of the casualties are disproportionately males between the ages of 20 and 40, but those aren’t the photos any of the major outlets are showing,” she noted. 
“The mainstream media would have you believe these creatures do not exist, and the public is swallowing that. We have the opportunity to blow the lid off MSM complicity in concealing some of the biggest zoological conspiracies of all time.”
Media experts are divided on whether these cryptozoologists stand a better chance of proving the existence of Hamas fighters than any of the creatures they have pursued for so long. 
“It’s been decades – centuries, in some cases – since the initial claimed sightings,” said Pressin Timidation, an anthropologist who has documented the efforts of several cryptozoologists. 
“So if any good evidence surfaces early on in their efforts, maybe the mainstream scientific community will start paying attention.”
“On the other hand, if things continue as they are, and the IDF keeps fighting these invisible beings who somehow shoot RPGs and antitank missiles, and blow up booby-trapped houses, but no one can actually capture any images of them, then the Hamas fighter will simply be another creature on the long list of creatures of which convincing proof of their existence has yet to emerge.”

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