The 14 Words

Monday, 4 August 2014

Gross Pig Jewess Blames Palestinian Babies for Her Fatness

By Andrew Anglin

It has been a rough few days for the Times of Israel blog. After having published a blog calling for the genocide of the Palestinians, and removing it hours later when the goyim found out about their sick Jew plans, they have now published a piece from a fat Jewess named Weinstein blaming the terror toddlers of Palestine for her gross weight problem.

The op-ed is cleverly titled Does This War Make Me Look Fat?

Referring to the problem of her ever-expanding waistline as “the Battle of the Bulge,” she explains that when babies are murdering innocent Jew soldiers who’ve done nothing but defend themselves against schools and hospitals, she can do nothing but stuff her Jew hole with candy bars.
It is comforting to know that I am not fighting this Battle of the Bulge alone. In a recent and very unscientific Facebook survey a friend polled her community by asking, “Eating more or eating less because of the “situation”?”
The answers varied, but most came to the conclusion that war is bad for your waistline. Many respondents admitted that their chocolate and carb consumption had gone up, as had their weight, while others said they were eating less as a result of the tension. Not eating because of stress is something I just can’t relate to; I don’t understand it and it confuses me. To be clear though, I am in awe and unabashedly jealous of people who can pull that one off. The common denominator everyone could agree on though was that war is stressful. It doesn’t matter if you have a child in the army or know of someone else’s on the front lines, whether Hamas is shooting at you non- stop, or every now and then. Knowing people want you dead? Not terribly calming.
It’s hard enough to watch your weight when things are relaxed. It’s that much harder I find, when consumed by social media, news, and the insanity of folks who still think the good guys are the bad guys. I feel The Grip of all of these things on my brain, in my nervous system, and struggle with things like,
How can I work out when 3 more soldiers have been killed? How irreverent does that make me?
The reports say that the soldier may still be alive. I should wait to see what the updates are.
Oh man, my “red alert” app is going off like gangbusters. I want to stand up and do something else, but they just don’t stop!
The evil of these Arab infants knows no end. They are not satisfied to simply kill millions of Jews with their rockets made from concrete and cement provided by Israel – oh no, this is not enough for these terror babes – they must also force Jew women into obesity by scaring them into chowing-down on chocolate.

We need to send more money to the Jews, so they can buy more bombs. Not simply for the sake of saving the poor innocents from death from above by homemade cement rockets, but also to save the poor Jewesses from becoming even uglier pig monsters.

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