The 14 Words

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Israeli Casualty List from Gaza Rockets

Shlomo Bladderstein--Shlomo overheard his grandson's stereo playing some Black Sabbath and mistook the music for an air raid siren. Shlomo got so excited he defecated on himself and part of the stool slid down his pants leg and onto the floor. Shlomo turned to run to the bomb shelter and slipped on his own stool and fell to the floor, cracking a rib.

Shlomo is recovering in a Tel Aviv hospital that was paid for entirely by American money in the form of a grant from the US Congress.

Nana Bloomersberg--Nana was doing her morning routine, counting all the dollar bills and gold coins she had received from the 28 nations paying holocaust reparations, not including the dozen or so programs from Germany when she heard an air raid siren. Nana was fearful that her money would be stolen by one of her friends if left out, so she tried to carry the entire bundle, around 120 pounds, and sprained her back in the process.

Nana is doing fine and is recovering in an Ashkelon convalescent center, paid for with money given to Israel by the US Congress.

Bibi Nuttistein--Bibi was doing what he usually did several times a week, dressing up as a Palestinian and roaming the West Bank with a baseball bat, looking for a real Palestinian so he could smash his or her skull. An IDF trooper spotted Bibi and thinking he was actually a Palestinian, shot Bibi in the chest. Lucky for Bibi, he was wearing a Kevlar bullet-proof vest, one of thousands stole appropriated from a shipment to US soldiers that was supposed to arrive in Iraq, but got rerouted to Israel.

Bibi only has a sore chest and he and his ego are recovering nicely in a Ashdod clinic, paid for with American money that was 'loaned' to Israel, then turned into a grant, with no money paid back on the original loan.

This is the sum total of the savage and unrelenting Palestinian attack against the peace-loving people of Israel.

They will be avenged 1,000 times over, even if the 'world's most moral army,' the IDF, has to kill 6 million Palestinians.

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